Fuck it man

I dont know. So i smoke and drink and have tattoos and thats how fucked up i am. And i dont want to show my vunerable side to other people. I want to act strong and independent and all that stupid crap. So there are times when i would break down and smoke and sp other things that i might regret the day after. But now in the moment, i dont care as long as it males me feel good now

Hello October

Its been a crazy week for me. I had too much fun hanging out with friends on friday and saturday that left me with no power whatsoever on sunday. I supposed to study 5 chapters for my Sociology class but i was so tired and i barely study anything. Beside from that, my life has been pretty good. I still have troubles with my uncle in law, but the fact that i hang out with my friends more make me feel happier and less stressful, which is great. And i expect this month gonna be bright, full and super busy. I mostly update my facebook and instagram on the go, like on bus or train or between classes. Keeping myself busy and be positive is a goal in October.
I'm gonna go to watch Taken 3 with my friends this Friday, and a korean lunch date on sunday. Ahhh i love my life. I want to fill all my time with exciting events like these.

Teenager sure is hard to deal with

I dont know about other ppl, but as for me, I like to hang out and be friend with friend who at the same age or older than me. They just seem so...thoughtful, and mature. And i dont have to clean up after their mess, which is cool. Hanging out with P is fun enough and she is funny, and mature for her age, but still, she doesnt have enough manners and experience Like she still expects me to do things for her and she kind of depends on me, which is sweet, and annoy at the same time. I have enough troubles going on with my life already, i dont want to clean up after her anymore.

one night wouldnt be enough...

...for me to get over you.
đừng nói với e e tốt đến chừng nào, so với họ, e tốt hơn nhiều. nhưng anh vẫn chon họ, mà ko phải chọn e, có đúng ko? những lời sáo rỗng đó, e ko cần.
lý do? ko cần lý do gì cả, ko yêu là không yêu thôi, nhỉ?
hài thật, cuối cùng vẫn là e nghĩ nhiều quá, ngay từ đầu, giữa chúng ta chỉ có tình bạn mà thôi. 

Finally

Well i finally told my best friend that i like him. I didnt tell him directly tho, i sent him a message through facebook ( pathetic i know) but i think it was a big step consider the fact that i didnt meant to tell him like, ever. It was a big move, for me. Now i feel..relieve, i guess? Cause it is good when i dont have to carry that little secret anymore. And i dont really care about the outcome, better or worse. I dont give a shit. I need to get it out of my system and move on, thats it

You

Where r u? Do u think about me? Do u miss me? Like everyday? Take me back in ur life?

Onew oppa ~~~

Drooling ~~

The world has been hard on me

I woke up in the middle of the night. Had a hard time to fell asleep again because my heart was beating so hard. My house mate thought that i must be really stressful. And oh boy that is so fucking true. I had nightmares almost every night in which i got into fights, yelling and throwing bad words on other ppl. Everything, everyone seem to pissing me off ay every levels. I dont know how can i keep up with this. Smoothing piano and candles are the only way that cna calm me down nowadays. I'm so fucked up

Momma is the best

This key chain is the surprise gift from my dear momma. I am so happy because she always have me in her mind and she really understands me, ya know? I know that i am so lucky since my mom is so thoughtful like this. Its funny because when we still live together we were not this close, we barely talked. I think distance can changes your relationship with other ppl, you get to realize who truly love you and who isnt.

the "perfect" boyfriend?

I was watching Gossip Girl, season 2 ep 19, there was this scene between Nate and Blair that stopped me at my track, that I have to stopped the movie and pouring my heart out, again. This simple gesture of Nate taking his jacket off and gave it to Blair when he saw her sitting all alone in the dark. Yes, Nate isnt interesting enough, and I am never his biggest fan, but I have to admit he is the perfect gentlemen, he treats girls/girlfriends nicely and never causes such dramatic scenes like his best friend Chuck Bass. It got me thinking, why am I so picky about my boyfriend? it felt like I never satisfied with all the guys that come to me. I dont know what am I looking for, but maybe he just needs to be the nice guy, the one who would take his jacket off and put it on my shoulder.

Its a new week

Its Monday again. Seriously time flies so fast. I dont even know if I am ready for a new week or not. Tmr i have english class which i didnt go to last thursday so i am kind of lost. I hope the prof is kind enough to does not throw any surprised quiz, or i am so fucked up. Anyway, i hope this week gonna be busy and productive.

The 1st for everything

Here I am. Maybe I dont even need to introduce myself because this blog is only meant for me to read, to write, to see it. I dont care if someone I know find out about it, that is their problem, I dont want to give a shit, because I am so tired of being friendly and thoughtful all the time. maybe for some one who truly care about me, they can use this blog to understand me better. it is late now, but i am wide awake, full of thoughts. why i never think about blogging before? what a great way to release my stress. I'm glad I did this.